Top tips on how to de-escalate conflict in the family

All families experience conflict from time to time and there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Disagreeing with others is generally a part of all types of close relationships, whether you want it or not. What’s really important is how you handle those family conflicts. Here are some tips that may help those who find themselves constantly arguing with their loved ones. Hopefully, this can help you handle your conflicts gracefully.


Be ready to listen to your loved ones and talk openly about your feelings as well


Sometimes, arguments between people escalate when one or all parties feel like they’re not being heard. It’s important to be able to listen and then to explain your side of the conflict. Expressing your feelings in a constructive way can help to diffuse the situation. Making a conscious effort to invite each family involved in a conflict to tell their side can help de-escalate things and move participants in the direction of a resolution. Refrain from judgment when you listen to your loved ones – try to understand their side of the story and take it seriously.


Take a break


If things are getting too intense, take a break. Seriously, taking breaks is so underestimated! Imagine, how many heated arguments and conflicts you could have avoided, if you could only stay away from all the judgments and hurtful comments, when fighting with family members. This can give everyone a chance to calm down and approach the situation with a fresh perspective. Think about what your loved one did wrong, but, most importantly, walk in their shoes for a minute and see if you understand their side too. Why are they bothered? What could you have possibly done wrong that they feel so hurt? It will help you see the bigger picture and find the solution sooner than one of you will get deeply hurt.


Learn to disagree with respect


After all, it’s not about winning the argument, but about saving good relationships with your family, and even the way you disagree with people around you matters at this point. If you prove your point, it gets difficult to argue with you. Be respectful while doing that, and people will listen to you and agree with you more.  Find the things you share in common, and build upon them. Diplomats do this every day, and you can do that too!



Address the issue head-on


Don’t try to sweep the conflict under the rug. Address the issue head-on and work towards a resolution. But try to do this in a smart manner, where you don’t scream and shout, but you talk, listen to each other without criticism. Be willing to compromise, as no one is perfect. There are always two sides of the story, so don’t rush into conclusions before you hear the opposite story as well. Learn to meet each other halfway and you’ll feel happier in your relationships with your family and friends.


Seek professional help


Sometimes the conflict can be overwhelming and you may feel like you’re stuck in dead-end. If the conflict is proving to be too difficult to manage on your own, consider seeking professional help. A therapist can provide guidance and support in dealing with family conflict and there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Both sides have to be willing to resolve the conflict, though. So, the result can be achieved only if both you and your family members are ready to work towards the progress to solve the issues.


Arguments are an inevitable part of our everyday life. Learning to navigate them with ease will help you get over these little speed bumps on your road to a happier life together with your loved ones.