Top questions to ask a new partner when starting a relationship

When you’re just starting to date, there are shy hesitations as you are unsure of your partner’s preferences. By understanding your partner’s beliefs and interests, you will better understand their outlook on life. Have you ever felt the need to ask some important questions that just need to be asked in the beginning of a new relationship, but struggled finding the right ones? Here’s the list of top questions that may help you have a good start with your special someone.

How to ask your new partner important questions?

Luckily, gone are the days when we had to stay at home during the quarantine, so right now the opportunities to ask important questions to get to know each other better are endless. You can do this via text, if you feel too shy to ask some things face to face just yet, you can do this during the date. If your questions are very intimate and personal, try not to ask them all at once, as it may seem like an interrogation for your partner.  Don’t expect them to answer all of your questions at once. After all, it takes time to open up with someone.

Still confused, what questions should you ask first? Here are our best picks:

Relationship Questions You have To Ask Your Partner

#1 Are You Looking For Commitment?

This question can give you a lot of answers about how serious the person is, and how well your desires for your future together match! It is always best to find this out at the beginning of the relationship to avoid investing emotionally in a person who’s not interested in anything serious, if you are looking for commitment.  

#2 Would You Say You Are More Of An Extrovert Or Introvert?

If you didn’t get the time with your new partner to observe their behavior better and see if they’re an extravert or an introvert, you might ask them directly. This question will help you understand if the other person is as spontaneous or closed as you are. Keep in mind, as much as you want your new partner to match your energy, the opposites do attract! Besides that, knowing their type of personality will help you arrange a perfect next date!

#3 What do you consider cheating?

This question is very important to ask, as different people have different views on cheating. You want your view to be somehow similar to your partner’s, if you want this to work. You must be both on the same page from the get-go. Cheating is most people’s biggest fear in a relationship, so it’s important to have this established early on. 


 #4 How do you think you’ve changed over the last few years?

We all grow and develop as personalities, and it’s important to be aware of your personal growth over time. Asking this question will give you some insight into how well your partner is in touch with themselves and their own needs and whether they are likely to evolve in this relationship. If the person has nothing to say about this, it says a lot about them personally – they don’t usually think about their personal development that much, and you should make your first conclusions.

#5 Why didn’t your last relationship work out?

In some cases you will get a very straightforward answer like “My ex cheated on me”. But most times the reason why previous relationships didn’t last is not that easy to explain. Someone who’s ready for a serious relationship will answer this question objectively and assume some responsibility for their actions in past relationships as well.

 #6 How much honesty do you expect from a relationship?

Honesty is key when it comes to a great relationship. It’s the basics that make you feel safer with your partner, knowing they tell you what they really think about you or different life situations. You don’t want your partner to be a liar and expect them to be trustworthy.  But at the same time, you don’t want someone who is going to be so brutally honest that they hurt your feelings all the time. So, talking about this in the beginning of your new relationship can be a good idea.

 #7 What are the things you won’t compromise on?

Such questions may be difficult to talk about, but the reality is that if your views on life are too different – it simply won’t work for both of you. And if some things your partner can’t compromise on are in conflict with your beliefs, this may be an issue.

 #8 How important is intimacy to you?

For someone it can be a deal breaker, really. Sex life is something you have to take into consideration when entering a new relationship. Some people are ok with having regular intimacy with their partner, while others are not. There’s nothing to be ashamed of when asking a partner about that, since if you are looking in different directions when it comes to this, the relationship is most likely doomed.


Asking deep questions can help you understand if this new person can stay in your life for a long time if not forever, or you should let go of them in the very beginning of your relationship. Sometimes just the chemistry between you two is not enough to have a long happy life together, so asking all of these simple yet very important questions is the key to a happy love life!